This past Saturday, I was privy to my first European discoteca experience at an upscale little club in the Italian Riviera called the B.B. King. And, thankfully, it was one for the ages. All I can do now is hope that the rest of my experiences will prove to be as magical.
The club was a pretty classy joint, so I expected a little competition on the dance floor. WRONG.
I'm not going to lie, I've got a little rhythm in me - thanks in part to my chocolate uncle Fred Shuttlesworth (http://img.coxnewsweb.com/B/06/54/37/image_1137546.jpg) - but, sometimes I can suffer from what has commonly been referred to as "White-man-itis" on the dance floor. However, the mob of Italian men in the club made me look like James Brown. Picture a bunch of fish flailing around on the ground after they've been thrown aboard a boat, and there you go: Italian dancing. The spectacle of their dancing was, however, surpassed by their ghastly taste in music. Countless disco jams that weren't even popular in America when disco was all the "rage" blared from the speakers to a somehow captivated audience as the DJ whispered sweet nothings into the microphone to get the party bumping. At one point in the night, I got to hear "I Saw the Sign" by Ace of Base for the first time since Pre-K. It was a fan favorite. It was heaven.
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A Few things I've learned thus far in Italy:
1. The countryside is worth the hype. Absolutely stunning.
2. If you ever dare to tell an Italian that their cars are not the best (specifically Alfa Romeo), be prepared for a swift sucker-punch to the face immediately afterwards.
3. Walker - Texas Ranger is considered a legend. I wish I were joking.
4. In Italy, the mullet is alive, well, and still absolutely ridiculous: Business in the front, party in the back.
5. Italians really are some of the most hospitable people in the world. By far the friendliest bunch of people I've ever met.
6. They are also capable of putting away more food at one sitting than anyone not named Marlon Brando. And they're still not fat.
- This is the only reason I am glad I'm only here for 12 days. At this point, I'm relying solely on my ridiculously high metabolism to keep me from gaining weight.
Well, that does it for this post. Ciao, mis amigos.
- O
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2 comments:
1) Nice to see that the mullet is alive and doing well in Italy... weird, didn't run into anyone with a mullet while I was there. Old hairstyles never die, they just "fade" away.
2) Funny that the cure for white-man-itis is another disease call "boogie fever"
oh, alfa romeo, very nice
also, i'm pretty sure chuck norris is a legend the world over. they some times refer to him as "riki oh's daddy" in parts of east asia
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